Please let the year be done with!

OMG!!!!! As a new year encroaches upon us, I pray it's going to be better than last year. Last year was one of the worst ones ever. I was betrayed, put in bad situation (though to be fair I did put my self there by being stupid), had my heart trampled on by the Pamplonan bulls, reconstructed then let it go back again, dealt with some harsh things said about me and came back to Idaho. You know it just really has sucked this year and I've just wanted it to all end. So here's to good cheer for everyone and I just pray that my life gets better.

Loves

The Truth of Honesty

Recently I've come across a problem, and I don't know how to fix it. As everybody knows, I'm an honest person. And I have much to worry about. I kind of feel stuck. Even though I was told by someone-"you aren't ever stuck anywhere in life because you can always change your situation. It just may take time to get the change moving as fast as you want so your slowed down a bit. Not stuck." Well that may be easy to say but I really am. I also talked to my bff and told her that I'm really not understanding and she knocked me out with some pretty good advice about the whole education part (BTW my generals will be done in 2 semesters!). But I'm still heart hurt. I believe that I know where I'm going to end up; at least, I hope so. There's been sooooooo much that has pointed me in this direction, but I just can't figure out exactly how those two combine. Kind of like oil and water. But back to the honesty part. The person who gave me the whole you are ever stuck, well, I was honest with them. I honestly feel that I'm going to hurt either one of us somewhere with either one of my choices. And for that being honest,telling the truth--I get the cold shoulder and if I can, get some kind of response it's like pulling teeth. I may have done it a bit rashly; but I had been without sleep due to both this factor and stress of finals, full of those loverly lady hormones (yes we know what ones,) and really really really frustrated by school and the fact that I couldn't do anything for this person as of right now. And yes yes yes, I cried then and then have cried some more. Yet, somehow I kind of feel like I'm lost in the ocean in between two islands both on either side are dangerous to live on. Which one to choose? So why is it that when we tell the truth or try to be honest with those that we care about we get so hurt? Would they rather that we lie to them and make a disillusion a reality and never face what is really out there? I've always believe that the truth is always better. And maybe that's why I'm just waiting for the carpet to be pulled out from under my feet with this certain aspect. It happens all the time with me, so I always expect it. So here I am, always waiting, but sincerely wanting. All I know is that I'm going to leave it all in the Lord's hands because obviously He's going to know when and where and I'm really tired of crying myself to sleep every night because I feel so helpless. So Happy Christmas and have a Happy New Year. Maybe I'll be able to figure it out, maybe something reminiscent of magic will happen and this will sort it all out. I'll keep you updated.......